Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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