I am in a vortex of obligation.
She said her name was "party"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
