i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize