I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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