He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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