i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I checked into jail on foursquare
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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