I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
