He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
