'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
