You can't motorboat a personality
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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