..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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