I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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