i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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