I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
