Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
