Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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