I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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