hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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