I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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