i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it was like eating out sand paper
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
