she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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