i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
