woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
