Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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