And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
