Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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