similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
