Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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