so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
smell my finger.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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