My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
