are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
