But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
