You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
