I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
