i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
