I wish I could teleport
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I faked an abortion last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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