We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize