My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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