What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
