I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
