You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
