you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
