i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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