how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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