Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
