Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
