I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
