Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize