I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
