I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
