You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
