it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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