shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
