god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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