I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
