wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
