I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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