You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
