Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
