OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize
