i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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