What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
