i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
