The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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