I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
