Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
