im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we're so committed to being not committed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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