I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
