You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
